Hiraeth

How does it feel to not be a part of your friends’ adventures?

Does it stir bespoke nightmares of abandonment? Does it make you yearn for those days gone by, when every dream was shared, every hope was expressed, and every moment lived in harmonious company?

Moments go by as you stare at the screen of your messaging app, blinking at the last seen  and simultaneously at the pictures, now featuring unfamiliar landscapes, unseen faces, unfelt emotions.

Or have you moved on, onto your solitary journeys where there is the road, and only you to enjoy the sunlight filtering through the canopy, the birdsongs to keep you company, and perhaps only your shadow which refuses to leave your side?

Have you lost your wonderment, your inquisitiveness, your thirst? Have you learned to bury your nose deep into the familiar bubble of your own personal space? Never invading, but evading anything that pries too deep into your soul?

Are you afraid to know, and be known?

Don’t you feel homesick? To go back into the innocent days of childhood, when playgrounds were your battlefields, friends were your allies, bullies your foes, lost in the jungles of imagination. The universe was limitless then, unconfined. Now it has shrunk somehow, to the limits of your work laptop, filing cabinet, and morning coffee.

Do you talk to your mother? Do you watch that game with your father? Does your grandmother still give you jars of sweets? Does your grandfather still recount those ancient tales?

Does life carry smaller joys? Do songs transport you with their notes?

Do you not miss it? Or have you learnt to be used to it?

Oh, you miss it, but you’re too busy to care aren’t you?

 

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